I don’t want you to worry about me. about my cancer diagnosis. about you. about your children. about things getting out of control. about ANYTHING.
WHY? because worrying is useless. it doesn’t speed things up or make things better. In actual fact it can make things worse.
But its normal to worry, right? Yes! we usually worry when we have deep concern or love for someone or something. its a natural emotion. yet when we let our minds cling to ‘a story’ about ‘what if’s’ or ‘shoulds’…… then we lose the beauty and wisdom of the present moment. Sometimes we just need to have some more information or reassurance to help put our mind at rest, to ease our worry. This really helps me. I know it’ll help you too lovely.
I’m sooooo grateful for the huge wave of love thats been given to me with my recent diagnosis of renal cancer. Its been so overwhemlningly breathtakingly enormously supportive …… that I’ve gasped for breathe! In a good way, of course 🙂
However, I felt a level of anxiety arising today. My intuition was telling me that some of you were worrying because you haven’t heard from me since just after my diagnosis 3 and a half weeks ago. Like a loving mama you’re wanting to know that I’m ok. I’ve felt your pull at my heartstrings. And, as many of you know, you mamas are like my own daughters. I care deeply for you. I want to always be here for you. And I know how important communication is. Its not ok for me to be leaving you in the dark. So let me fill you in!
I’ll tell you all the news about my cancer, and how what I’ve learnt can help YOU deal with your major stresses as a mama.
I had no symptoms. was in no pain. Just a routine pelvic ultrasound for heavy periods. There is was…. a large mass on my left kidney. “You’re kidding me! But I’m so vibrantly healthy!” An MRI the next day confirmed a high suspicion of kidney cancer. It was 5 days before Christmas. I decided to proceed with all things as normal. I accepted a nights work in the childrens hospital. Christmas lunch was held at my home. I stayed excited that my gorgeous big 22 year old boy was returning home from his 5 months overseas adventure. He arrived just a few days before my Consultants appointment and then surgery was hastily organised for the very next day.
Its exactly a week since I had my left kidney and large cancerous tumour, a renal cell carcinoma, removed. The prognosis? “90-95% success rate”. What a relief! Music to my ears 🙂
There was a lot of amazing tools and mindset shifts that I used to manage this trauma gracefully. Its stuff that I can teach you and want to share with you in further blogs. But for now I want to give you a summary of the keys things that helped.
1. I made sure I never felt alone.
2. I reframed what the cancer is about. I unravelled the spiritual meaning as to why it happened.
3. I gained the support of people who helped me stay in the ‘Now’
4. I approached the treating staff with a connection and playfulness that transformed the heaviness into lightness and laughter.
It was powerful stuff. I’m recovering at a rapid pace and right now I feel really healthy, deeply peaceful and genuinely happy. I’ll explain more in my weekly blogs. So if you want to hear about how I made this happen then make sure you jump on my email list.
Go to mariagolding.com and put your name and email in the space provided. You’ll get a bonus baby sleep ebook as well. If its not what you need right now feel free to pay it forward and share it on.