Do you feel like there is so much to DO?
Do you say to yourself “If only I HAD MORE TIME?”
Did you know that the ONE thing your baby wants, needs and craves more than anything else is a healthy connection with you?
Yes its not what you DO its how you BE with your baby.
This doesn’t take more time! Its about how you generally relate when you are with your baby.
What we know is that babies have emotions just like us. We can actually influence their brain development so that they are more likely to be confident children who are emotionally intelligent and able to have good healthy relationships. We do this by the way we respond to their everyday upsets.
I can hear you asking “What do you mean? What does this look like?”
Let me give you an example…
When her baby ‘Thomas’ is upset Jenny, a lovely concerned mother, will often say “you’re okay” in a nice but dismissive way without checking in to find out why he is upset. There is nothing wrong with this however she could take it a step further and say, “I see you are upset. What’s the matter Thomas?”
If he needs to express his feelings Jenny can reflect those feelings back. “You seem frustrated, really frustrated right now. I want to help you. Let me see if doing something different helps …does this help?”
It’s important for Jenny to stay with Thomas while he is having difficult feelings without jumping into the emotions herself or trying to stop Thomas from feeling the feelings.
As long as Jenny stays calm then Thomas is able to express his feelings and he will eventually settle. Jenny has given him a chance to clear his feelings instead of having to stifle his first response.
When Jenny takes this approach over and over again Thomas will feel acknowledged and validated.
As a young baby he may understand only the non verbal communication such as Jenny’s tone of voice, mirroring of his emotions and the comfort of being able to express his feelings. This lays a healthy foundation to later learn how to communicate and manage difficult emotions using words. It is a good idea to get into practice using this approach right from the start as your baby can understand some language before he can speak back.
Do you want to try this with your baby?
Take ACTION NOW…..
1. Print off this blog and highlight the response of what to say when your baby is upset.
2. Write down a number of difficult emotions that you have noticed that your baby may be feeling…eg upset, frustrated, scared, sad, hurting, bored, uncomfortable. Put them somewhere visible so you can start using them.
3. You might like to jot down things you have noticed when doing this, and share this with me via email [email protected] Your questions, comments, thoughts and reflections are what I use to create future blogposts!
Thankyou so much for reading this and caring SO MUCH about whats REALLY IMPORTANT for your baby.
I so look forward to connecting with you again soon