How to deal with scary, out-of-control mama overwhelm

Do you feel like there are multiple stresses in your life …..pushing you further and further into psycho-land / panic/ I-want-to-hide-under-the-doona freak-out!/ I’m not coping………help meeeeee!!!!!???

I know this desperate place. It can be so freakin scarey and out-of-control!

It can make you want to cry, sob, scream, run away, shut down, eat more or don’t eat at all.

You feel alone….yet you are NOT.

Let me take you by the hand, tell you my story of when this happened to me and  my newborn….. give you all the wisdom I have learned so you can calm down, feel more in control and FEEL AT PEACE WITH THE MOTHER THAT YOU ARE ….

Last week our family moved house. Even though my two boys are older now (18 and 21yrs) it was still a huge thing to do.

I remember when we moved house when my youngest was only 6 weeks old.

There were so many stresses at that time.

My parents were moving far away, a best friend asked me to be her bridesmaid at her wedding 9 weeks after the birth, my husband was unwell with severe cluster migraines and I was struggling with chronic back pain.

Ouch!!! It was all too much!

On one hand I was so grateful for having this adorable (and very active and demanding ) toddler and a beautiful new baby who breastfed and settled fairly well, and on the other hand I felt desperate and fragile. Things were quickly becoming out of control!

There’s more to the story which I’ll share with you in next weeks blog about postnatal anxiety and depression.

This week I want to give you a RESCUE REMEDY of what to do RIGHT NOW to calm down, feel more in control and take positive action to cope.

Rescue Remedy of how to manage out-of-control mother overwhelm!!!

  1. Check in with yourself. Identify how you are feeling. Are you scared? Worried? Angry? Sad? How is your body talking to you? Are you shoulders tight? Is your back hurting? Is you jaw tight? Do you have butterflies in your tummy? Is your heart racing?
  2. Now take a long deep slow breathe…in  through your nose and out through pursed lips. Repeat this 5 times whilst raising your shoulders up with the in-breathe and let them release with the out-breathe
  3. Allow things to simply be as they are in the moment. Don’t try to force change. Trust that the change is coming.
  4. Allow yourself a couple of minutes at least to do something that makes you feel grounded and calmer. For example… slowly sip on a glass of water, go outside for some fresh air, take your shoes off and feel your feet on the ground, tighten and relax your fists, allow yourself to sigh loudly ahhhhhhhhhh…………
  5. Talk out loud either to yourself or to another about what is happening “I’m feeling really upset at the moment that I’m not going to get everything done and will let people down. My shoulders are tight and my heart is racing. I’m doing some deep breathing and taking myself outside into nature so I can calm down. I need to do this so I can think more clearly and work out what to do next”.
  6. Once you are calmer think about who you could talk with as a sounding board on how to best manage your particular situation. It might be your partner, friend, child health practitioner, GP, counselor, natural therapist. Then MAKE THIS A PRIORITY. Contact this person TODAY. Make a time to talk over things.

    BONUS TIP :  
    Plan to take a 10 minute dance/movement break 3 times a day. Put on your favourite music and stretch, dance, wriggle…just MOVE…..exercise releases amazing chemicals in the bloodstream that help release stress and makes your mood brighter.

So take ACTION now….

Print off these tips

Put them on the fridge and start practicing BEFORE you feel too out-of-control

When you are feeling overwhelmed …..STOP and do these steps

In the comments below let me know how these worked for you and what other tips you find helpful

Lets go deeper next week and talk about postnatal anxiety and depression, how to tell if you’re got it and what to do about it.

Until then….. remember that you have got one of the most important and challenging jobs in the world…motherhood!

You deserve to be supported. You deserve to enjoy motherhood and to love your life! Yes!!!!

I’m here to help you get the support you need. Hang in there!

XX Maria

Mama Maria xoxo

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